If you found this blog, you are either friends with me on Facebook, have too much time on your hands, or you're surveying the internet for the next victim of the Dark Web. In any case, WELCOME (even if you're from the Dark Web). As you probably know, I already have a blog that is mostly read by family and friends. So, why another blog? Am I just a flaming narcissist who feels the world needs TWO blogs written by moi? I guess so. I mean, I have two blogs for Gosh's sake. But, also, I had an idea for some posts that just didn't fit the "brand" of Project Norway. I know. Gross. I just said I had a "brand." Still, this idea just needed a new home. So, here we are.
What's the idea?
Well, you know how every blog about cooking for families portrays these beautiful moms with perfectly highlighted hair who have the cutest kitchens with children whose biggest behaviors are stealing a lick from their perfectly mixed To.Die.For. cookies? I thought it would be funny if I was "real" about the ways that I try really hard to be that kind of mom and, well, mostly fail. So, on a fairly intermittent basis, I will share some sort of recipe or maybe some other cockamamie idea I had to beautify or improve our family and I'll be real about it. This is not to say that I always suck. I surely don't. So, sometimes I'll share some wins, but even then it will be as real as I can make it. There won't be fancy photographs or posed pictures of cherubic children smiling as I serve them a nutritious meal. I'm going to try to be funny and entertaining and I have no silly expectations that this will be my exit from the 9 to 5 grind. This is for fun. That's all. If you join me, GREAT and God Bless you for being such a loyal friend.
Zucchini for Days
This Spring I planted a garden. Gardens are fun ways to be hopeful and optimistic and have dreams of overflowing baskets of produce that is perfectly perfect and effortless. Of course, gardens aren't really like that. I can never get green bell peppers to grow, my peas got mostly eaten by the rabbits, and I always plant too much zucchini.
Zucchini season is probably the most delusional season of all. When we all get sick of zucchini bread, I begin to scour Pinterest and the internet for recipes that use zucchini. The delusion comes in when I see recipes for zucchini boats and zucchini casserole and think, "Oh, my family might like that!" Silly, girl. They will not. They very likely will NOT like it.
My optimistic delusions led me to try two new recipes today. I'll post one of them below along with the link to the original blog and some hilarious commentary. I'll probably post the second one tomorrow. Or maybe not. I don't want to get expectations too high right at the start.
Delusional Recipe #1: Zucchini Bread Breakfast Cookies
1 1/2 cups quick oats
3/4 cup old fashioned oats
1 cup whole wheat flour*
1/4 cup ground golden flax**
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/3 cup honey
4 tables melted coconut oil
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup shredded zucchini
*the original recipe called for oat flour which you make by grinding up oatmeal. No. Thank. You.
**the original recipe also said you could use chia seeds. I had some golden flax to use up from a different delusional recipe, so that's what I used.
***the original recipe also called for walnuts. In my delusion, I thought that if I omitted the nuts my famiy would like the "cookies." I'm so cute, sometimes.
Directions:
- Heat oven to 350*. Note: The original recipe actually says 360*. Seriously? 360*????
- Put all of the ingredients into a large mixing bowl and mix it up. The batter will be pretty thick. There isn't a ton of wet stuff, so it took a bit of effort to get it mixed well.
- Scoop about two tablespoons of the batter onto a prepared baking sheet. You can spray a sheet, use a silicone liner, or use a baking stone. I use a cookie scoop I bought from the Pampered Chef a million years ago to make it easy.
- Flatten the dough to form a cookie shape. They won't spread or rise, so you don't have to worry about crowding. Perhaps that should be a warning to us about how these taste?
- Bake for 12-14 minutes until just lightly golden. Once they're cool, pop those bad boys into the fridge or freezer because they won't keep long on your counter. #moldcity
These are great "cookies" to bake when you want to provide your family a nutritious, home baked "grab and go" breakfast that they probably won't eat. For example, I will tell my girls about these babies this evening and lovingly suggest they eat one with their Breakfast Essentials shakes before they head to the pool to teach swimming lessons. Instead, I will likely find them scarfing down Honey Nut Cheerios or some sort of processed garbage that I keep stocked against my better judgement. In other words, this recipe is PERFECT for delusional zucchini season. I think this should be a new holiday!
I'm going to be honest. I tried one of these "cookies" and they are...healthy. That's for sure. They taste really healthy. They don't taste bad, but if you're hoping for a sweet start to your day you will be disappointed. I'm thinking that a little peanut butter could do the trick. Or butter. Or jam. Or cream cheese frosting (ha ha!). I'm not telling you to NOT bake them. In fact, do it! Join me in the delusion! We can all be disenchanted together when our families reject our efforts to introduce wholesome, homemade goodness into their diet.
If you want to check out the original recipe in all its glory, you can find it
here.
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